Stress in others appears to
affect our own emotions. And it doesn’t just happen with direct interaction like
when a family member shares his worries with us, or our stressed out boss pressures
us to get things done. It can happen by just seeing someone manifesting signs
of stress. It often takes place under the radar of our consciousness. You have
a glimpse of a colleague who is frowning his eyebrows, you hear him sigh, and
you start feeling some of his distress. Why is that?
Seeing and feeling
Our nervous system has the
ability to pick up in others very subtle clues: facial expression, body
movements, breathing patterns, etc. It happens unconsciously due to mirror
neurons (see box below). These neurons that are part of the autonomic system fire automatically
when an action is taking place, but also when that same action is observed. If
you watch someone furrow their brow and tighten their jaw, the neurons required
to do the same facial expression will be activated in your brain, although your
face doesn’t change. The same process can stimulate the feelings and emotions
linked to the actions observed. In that case, worries and negative mood.
2 steps to stop the contagion!
Even though this mechanism
appears to make us vulnerable to how others feel, it is in reality an essential
part of living in society. Indeed, these mirror neurons allow us to feel what
others are going through. Now, how to not get overwhelmed by the stress from other
people? There are 2 things we can do. First, be vigilant about our body. If we
start to slouch and hold our breath, catch it on time before we start to feel
down for no apparent reason. Stand up straight, take a nice breath, go for a
walk, or do whatever you have to do to shake off the tension. Second action we
can take, if the situation allows it, is to go up to the person manifesting
signs of stress and just ask them how they are feeling. 2-3 minutes of
attentive listening can go a long way in helping the other person feeling
understood. It will often offer her some relief for the good of all.
Mirror neurons: we
neurologically mimic what others do
Mirror Neurons were
discovered in 1995 by an Italian team of researchers in psycho-neurology. The
discovery happened, as major discoveries often do, by chance. They were studying
the brain function of a monkey. During their lunchtime, as they started to eat
a pizza, they noticed that the scanner to which the monkey was hooked started
to ring. The animal was nonetheless seating quietly looking at the researchers
who were eating. As Professor Giacomo
Rizzolatti, the lead researcher, looked closer at the scanner, he noticed that
the monkey, when he saw the men reaching for the pizza, was firing the same
neurons he would have to move his right arm. That initial discovery was further
studied over the following decade, and major research center like the Center
for Brain and Cognition at the University of California, confirmed the
mimetic function of neurons.
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